DISCLAIMER: The views expressed in this post are personal. I might be completely wrong or you might not agree, but stay with me.
“Everything you are doing to be at peace with yourself is what is destroying the peace that is already there.” ~ U. G. Krishnamurti
“So much energy goes into the looking for, the grasping for. Simply stop.” ~ Steven Harrison, Doing Nothing
A week ago as I observed the Hyderabadi sunset from the 6th floor terrace of my flat, I had an insight.
No, it was not the fact that Indian cities are polluted. 🙂
It was slightly more subtle. I had been reading a book called Stop thinking, start living by Richard Carlson. I usually don’t enjoy self-help books, but I had picked this one up out of curiosity. Carlson says that, one of the basic ways to overcome unhappiness is to become aware of negative thoughts and not give energy to them i.e. to disconnect from them immediately.
As I was trying this out on the terrace that day, I suddenly became aware first-hand of how thoughts come in the mind like clouds in the vast blue sky. And then I thought – what if I myself was a thought? Is this what the great sages meant when they said that all universe is one and the self doesn’t exist?
And then a more disturbing thought came. What if my concept of peace was itself a thought?
I contemplated on this for a few days and thrashed it out with a few friends. And have come to a basic understanding. I have confused between peace and happiness.
When I perform the action of thinking, I become aware of my surroundings. Which means there are 2 entities – me and the world. But to find peace (i.e. be one with everything), I need to move beyond thought, meaning I can never be aware of it. Just like when we are engrossed in a task, we completely forget about everything, including ourselves.
I could do my best – read spiritual books, do yoga, count my breaths. I could definitely lead a healthier life, a more conscious life, with fewer thoughts and more clarity. But these are all techniques by the mind to find happiness, and not peace.
Peace is a completely different ball game. No matter what I do, I can never attain peace by action, because it is beyond action!
I started the blog, one of the reasons being, to find peace by addressing my restlessness. Seems I have found a partial answer. It wasn’t what I was searching for, but ironically, it has made me more peaceful.